


Toothpaste

by Sorcha_Annysia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fem!Harry, Gen, Vain, toothpaste
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 11:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorcha_Annysia/pseuds/Sorcha_Annysia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you save the world? How do you defeat the darkest wizard of all time? How do you kill... Lord Voldemort! Why, toothpaste of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toothpaste

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, here we are again, my fellow FanFictioners. (Is that it? Is that the word?) Another… blue moon, another story. (My bad…) Coincidentally, I still don’t own HP. Yet. My plans of evil doomness are coming along nicely, and I should be the proud owner of HP as soon as JK cracks under the torture and SIGNS ON THE GODDAMN LINE!!! HURRY UP AND MAKE HER SIGN!!! Ahem. Yes. Well. Yeah. Right, on with the story. (Plot changes are given.) Lol. Why am I saying lol? Cue look of horror.

Green is such a pretty colour. It really is. Don’t you agree? Yes, yes I rather think I do. Female Harry (who we will refer to as Kevin) was admiring her eyes as she cleaned up in the bathroom. She was just starting to brush her teeth when there was a screaming and banging from downstairs. After thinking for a while, *coughcough* forever *coughcough* she decided meh. And continued to admire herself in the mirror. Then she heard footsteps. Not that she noticed. Too entranced with her beauty. Real observant, Kevin. Suddenly, the door burst open, and who was standing there but…

THE EASTER BUNNY!!

 

(Lol, not really.)

 

It was actually Lord Voldemort. Cue terrified screams of horror. And lightning. And thunder. And… yeah, let’s just stop there. Voldemort cackled evilly. (As apposed to cackling cutely...?)  
“Ha ha Potter, I have found you at last! Now you shall die!”  
“Mnsh hd dgs hdud dgduhuh djkhdjh.”  
“What?”  
“Mnsh hd dgs hdud dgduhuh djkhdjh.”  
Kevin spoke like that because, you see, she still had a toothbrush in her mouth. As well as the toothpaste.  
“Spit it out, girl!”  
So she did. Right is his flat little face.  
“Aaaah! My eyes!”  
Well, it seemed that the toothpaste had gotten into his eyes. Awesome! Voldemort started wiping his eyes and walking backwards. He backed through an open door and straight out a window where he fell and died, as they had been on the second floor of the house.  
“Well, that was convenient.” Yes it was, Kevin, yes it was.

**Author's Note:**

> ... what just happened?


End file.
